My Dearest Darlingest Gertrude Who

Dear Gertrude,


It has been made clear to me that you are going through a state of untimely and inconvenient melancholy; and with this problem arising, I feel the need to put in my two cents, and attempt to make your sadness go away, or at least decrease.


Okay, forget the  Jane Austen writing, that's too hard.


Now, let's get down to business. Today at lunch, you seemed really uncomfortable, and not exactly yourself. I've come up with a hypothesis as to why:


It was my fault.


In a previous blog post of mine, The Four No More, I used you as an example to illustrate the "Inconsistent Friend," I so unkindly put, and I figured that you wouldn't mind, and would use it to improve upon yourself. Dead wrong. I was the one being inconsistent, rude, and very obviously and intentionally mean. I don't know what in the world, heaven, Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, future, past, or present possessed me to say something so rude. In fact, you seem to have close to the same sense of humor around me as you do around the opposite gender (that was one of the points I touched on in the post).


You said the everyone hates you. Well, Gertie, I have a list prepared for you to contradict this statement.

• Alex: He doesn't hate you. He talks to you everyday at lunch.
• Jane: SHE LOVES YOU.
• Jessica: She's one of your best friends.
• Ewok:... Yeah, you know... yeah.
• Garett: He's awesome, and he considers you a friend.
• Patrick: He's become a really good friend of yours. I can tell.
• Jenica: Dude, she's awesome, and loves you.
• Taylor/Tameshia/Terry/Tatiana: Need I say anymore?
• Laura: She sits with you on the bus, and you guys are still really close.
• Raj: Dude.

And last, and certainly the least of all: ME.


Though there is a huge difference in our beauty, shape, and charisma ( you surpass me in all of those categories), our hearts are the same. We both love The Big Three.

Sincerely,

Cami E. Errant